Pittsburgh Dive Bar Talk
We're fictional characters, yet we're real. AND...
We're 720 pounds of podcast proclivity, 55 years of marriage with no divorces AND...
We're the hardest working podcast in four - count 'em four - states and Surinam AND...
We're the Patron Podcast of the Church of Laughter in the Czech Republic, Women who Perform SKwat thrusts, and Hong Kong husbands (see the first minute of Episode 92) !
Crack open a beer and you can listen to the same kind of crap that you hear in your local tavern. But this is free and there are no bar fights.
The Prince of Pittsburgh
When in peril and hard times,
drinking beer makes it all better.
- TigerCoach12
Tiny
This Week's Episode
The only Category 5 podcast in the universe and one of the few immersive podcasts in the mid-Atlantic states!
Welcome to Episode 97 of PGH Dive Bar Talk, our special basketball edition. Don’t worry, we won’t bore you with our bracketology and where our brackets were busted…or will we? Tune in to find out!
(1:15) – Shout out to new listener, Nancy Aiken!
(2:04) – Fight the power. We attempted to advertise the podcast on Google Ads, but we were shot down for “alcohol information and shocking content”! Rejected!
(3:04) – The Prince of Pittsburgh’s accountant is one of the first four out.
(3:18) – Please Stand By…
(4:18) – Beer Night recap. The bouncers get feisty with some old guy, but not one of our old guys. Upset alert.
(5:54) – Coach attends another seminar. This one covered the Great Pittsburgh Fire of 1845 …and lentils and scorched beans!
(10:27) – Podcast Numerology
1. 97 years young…William Daniels, Estelle Parsons, Doc Severinsen, and Elroy Face
2. Born in 1997: Kylie Jenner, Jake Paul, Simone Biles, Dominik Mysterio, Sydney Sweeney, Bella Thorne, Camila Cabello.
3. Athletes to don the number 97: Kendrell Bell, Joey, John and Nick Bosa, Aiden Hutchison, and Joe Beimel.
(14:20) – Head over to www.pghdivebartalk.com to cast your three feel good songs, and everything you know and love about your favorite Category 5 podcast.
(15:54) – Dear Tiny
Q1: I need a good alternative to punching a co-worker in the face, can you help?
Q2: My man is messing with the neighbor while I’m at work paying the bills, but the D is good. What should I do?
Q3: I screamed out my neighbor’s name while in the throes of passion with my wife. What should I do?
(22:42) – Basketball Diaries of a Madman…you guessed it. There’s lesbians!
(30:08) – Transylvanian Brain Freeze…presents Facts of the Week
F1. A soccer game in Germany was postponed after the son of a player bit a referee.
F2. TikTok users are dropping heavy objects on their feet. Items include vacuum cleaners, air friers and wooden tables.
F3. China’s largest hot pot food chain has offered cash compensation to customers after two drunken teenagers were videoed urinating in the hot pot broth.
(35:05) – The Movie Game
(40:53) – The Music Game
(45:43) – Argy Bargy. Losers luck.
(48:56) – Would You Rather. Livvy Dunne vs. Ally Batenhorst
(57:11) – Samurai Chatter
Q1: When did you work hard and love every minute of it?
Q2: How are you nurturing your mental health?
Q3: What makes a person beautiful?
Q4: How would you describe yourself in one sentence?
(1:05:39) – Rodney Dangerfield quote
Quote of the Week
"My mother never breastfed me. She said she only liked me as a friend."
- Rodney Dangerfield
Let's get those cookies out of the Cathedral so the Prince can smoke his cigars!
Lucky for you, you have a connection. Tiny's pride-and-joy, Tori, can fix you up and even have them delivered to your door. Be sure to order a couple extra boxes to hide so you won't have to share all of them!
This Week at the Dive Bar*
* "Dive Bar" is like "Air Force One". If The Prince of Pittsburgh is there, it's the Dive Bar.
Our Very Own Tiny's
Feel Good Song of the Day
The Prince of Pittsburgh's Perfect Pizza Quest
In his never-ending desire to serve you, his loyal subjects, the Prince of Pittsburgh has mounted a quest for the holy grail of dive bar sustenance - the perfect pizza. Henceforth, The Prince will eat as much pizza required to make a comprehensive evaluation of the pies offered by bars, restaurants, and parlors in the four-state area of his domain. Six attributes will be evaluated on a 1-10 scale for a possible perfect score of 60.
The Prince of Pittsburgh decided to see for himself if the pizza joint with the worldsbestpizza.com website name could live up to the claim. He found that, even if it doesn't, it sure comes close. His companion gave their pizza a perfect score! Caliente has 8 locations in the Pittsburgh area. The Prince visited the Hampton site on Route 8.
The Prince evaluated a pepperoni pie:
9 - Appearance
8 - Cheese
9 - Sauce
9 - Crust
10 - Topping Amount
8 - General Flavor
53 - Total Score
This is my highest score to date. It's a bit more expensive, but worth it. I highly recommend the pizza, the calzone was very good, I'd pass on the wings.
His guest tried the pepperoni pizza, too
10 - Appearance
10 - Cheese
10 - Sauce
10 - Crust
10 - Topping Amount
10 - General Flavor
60 - Total Score
Little Forbes helps his Royal Pap get his sign just right.
Dear Tiny...
With 55 years of marriage - and ZERO divorces - between them, Tiny and the Prince of Pittsburgh have seen and done it all! Now - for the first time - they are willing to share the secrets of their success in dating, love, marriage and living happily ever after. What puzzles you? They can show you the path to true happiness! Nothing is out of bounds. Have you ever wondered how to...? Go ahead and ask - they have the answers! Your real name will be kept private, and the best questions will be answered on the podcast.
Miller Time!
by Jim Miller - Living Legend of Pgh Dive Bar Talk
Downshift NA IPA
Southern Tier Brewing Company
Non-alcoholic - IPA
I love this one! Great job, Southern Tier!
Cheers! 🍻
Can purchased at Save on Beer - Cranberry
4.5 / 5 Bottle Caps!
Jim Miller, March 22, 2025
Previous Miller Time reviews of non-alcoholic beers: Clausthaler IPA, Free Wave Hazy IPA, Freedom Amber, Indiewave, Just the Hae, Kolsch Style, Self-Care Fresh Tropical IPA, Upside Dawn Golden, West Coast IPA
Pick 3...
Songs that make you feel good every time they play!
You may remember this Pick 3 from a little over a year ago. I used the replies for the 'Feel Good Song of the Day' ever since. My reserve of songs is depleted! My song cupboard is bare! Can you find it in your heart to help a girl out? If you tell me what songs make you tap your toe and wanna bust out that air guitar and sing along, I'll make them Song of the Day and give you full credit! Thanks for your help!
Guest Contributors
Guru, West Middlesex
Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond
Jump - Van Halen
Like a Rolling Stone - Bob Dylan
Sully, Fox Chapel
Don't Stop Believin' - Journey
Free Bird - Lynryd Skynyrd
Why Can't This be Love - Van Halen
Amy, Pine Twp
Amie, Pure Prairie League
Charlie Brown's Christmas
Peaceful, Easy Feeling - The Eagles
Jon, York
Low Rider - War
In the Air Tonight - Phil Collins
A New Pirates Generation - Buzz Poets
Forbes, York
Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round
Down by the Bay
(tie) Monster Party / Do You Know the Muffin Man?
The Regulars
Tiny
Strength Beyond Strength – Pantera. It is impossible to not headbang to the breakdown in this song. The breakdown has been my ringtone on my phone since I’ve been able to do that.
Albatross – Corrosion of Conformity. That slow sludgy riff that carries through the majority of the song just brings me to my happy place. It’s a song about getting high, so can you not be happy?
Orion – Metallica. An instrumental on their third album, Master of Puppets. I’ve seen it played live three times and I am amazed at how well Robert Trujillo has mastered his craft to make his bass sound exactly how it does on the record as recorded by the late Cliff Burton.
Aesthetics of Hate – Machine Head. This song was written as a retaliation to an article by William Grim for the website Iconoclast, titled "Aesthetics of Hate: R.I.P. Dimebag Abbott, & Good Riddance" after Dimebag was shot and killed on stage in Columbus, OH, back in 2004. The article essentially said he was killed because of the kind of music he played. A reap what you sow kinda thing. Fuck that guy.
Postmortem – Slayer. If the DJ is worth their salt, they will play Postmortem as the lead in to Raining Blood. The ending of the former carries over to the beginning of the latter in a flawless segue. Maybe my two favorite songs by the band.
Prince of Pittsburgh
Call Me the Breeze - Lynryd Skynrd
My Old School - Steely Dan
Goin' Home - Ten Years After
Jane
It's Raining Men - The Weather Girls
Cracklin' Rosie - Neil Diamond
Little Red Corvette - Prince
Choose 3
Here are the top ten choices of wishes from the last Choose 3 surveys. If you could have only ONE of these treats, which one would you wish for?
Living Legends of
Pgh Dive Bar Talk
Paul G.
Flip
George E.
Debbie
Rachel R.
Clayton G.
Jeff T.
Misty
Chaz
Sully
Jim Cox
GURU
Jeff D of Venice
Brian of York (Tommy Titters)
Roland
Cinrock Grimstone
New Castle Bob
Miller
Zelda
Mr. Harrelson
Prince Huckamuckf**k
Jane
Favorite Dive Bars
(Pennsylvania if not noted otherwise)
Albert’s, Dormont
Clyde & Patty’s, Harmar
Garvey’s, South Side
Jack’s, Southside
James Street Tavern, Turtle Creek, PA
JB’s, Curtisville
Kelly’s, East Liberty
Kimmies, Castle Shannon
Nancy's Tavern, West Middlesex, PA
New Moon Saloon, West Deer
Nico’s Recovery Room, Bloomfield
Our Gang's, Sharon
Ray’s Hotspot, Marienville
Sophie’s Saloon, Carrick
The Boro Bar, Edinboro
The Gateway, Richland Twp
The Hotel Bar, Edinboro
The Nightingale Inn, Hermitage
The Phyrst, State College
Woodpeckers, Upper Burrell
FL - Green Parrot, Key West
FL - Palace Saloon, San Fernando Beach
FL - Retreat Tavern, Tampa
FL - The Shipwreck, Clearwater Beach
MD - The Cork Bar, Ocean City
OH - Dominick’s, Kent
OH - Olde Dutch Mill, Lake Milton
OH - Tito's, Atwater